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2018 hasn’t exactly Started in a blaze of glory. Well, to be honest, to use an analogy from Formula 1, it’s stalled in the pit lane. . I had hoped to be back in the saddle by now, and. Even made it over to Melissa’s for a lesson.

Yeh right.

I finished the steroids I was taking for the virus on New Years Day, and

, thankfully, have regained my hearing. However, I’m now in the grip of one of the worst arthritis flare ups I’ve ever had. To add to the problem, I’ve put on an enormous amount of weight. In fact I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been. Even if I was able to ride, at the moment I cbarely walk, it would be an act of cruelty to get on a horse. I’m too heavy for Florence at the moment, I’d crush Breeze or Goldie , the lovely horse I ride at Melissa’s. I’m stuck in a loop. The weight is contributing to my pain and my inability to exercise. I need to exercise to lose the weight, and the more exercise I do the less likely I am to seize up completely, but at the moment more exercise I atten The more it hurts. However if i don’t try to exercise The less I will be able to move and the more likely I will be to gain even more weight, and so, as difficult as it seems to believe, The more pain I will be in and the less able I will be to move.

The horses aren’t exactly lightning my mood either. Leone’s behaviour is becoming worryingly unpredictable. She seems to be able to switch from dope on a rope to rabid stallion in the blink of an eye. That doesn’t seem to be any pattern to when it happens, she just goes into one. Last week, in a desperate attempt to start doing something with horses, we took them all out for short walk in hand. It was nothing too challenging and we didn’t go very far. Just up the Field accessway, along the road in front of the house, through the gate between the house and the garage, and back along the lawn to the track and onto the yard. Breeze walked out like an angel. Florence was a little bit rude because she saw grass decided she needs to eat, but that’s pretty much par for the course when leading her in hand. Leone though, got halfway up the track and then went completely batzoid! She reared, bucked, kicked, and after squashing Hal against the fence, got loose. Thankfully rather shocked Ben had the presence of mind to slam the gate shut so she couldn’t get out onto the road. Leone then proceeded to gallop around the back garden like a thing possessed. It took more than an hour catch her. Luckily nobody got hurt, but Hal, Ben and i were all more than a little shocked, and frankly, frightened by her behaviour. This isn’t the first time that Leone has behaved in a, for want of a better word, dangerous way whilst being handled, and it’s not the first time that the change has come on suddenly like this. What’s causing it though? Is she in pain? Eishi beginning to lose the site in her good eye? Is it to do with her suspected neurological problems? Is it hormonal? All I know at the moment is that we are extremely lucky that nobody, including Leone herself, got hurt. The Vet is coming on Tuesday to give her a thorough going over. I’m dreading what they might hath to say.

The Vet Will also hath to give Breeze A check over to. The poor girl seems to be developing a nasty cough. She seems fine in herself, and I thought the cough might of been related to some slightly dodgy hey we had, but it’s not going away, in fact if anything it’s getting worse. . I’m hoping it’s just an allergy and some Ventapulmimn Will put it right, but she’s a little old lady, and she’s never coughed before as long as we have her, so I’m a bit worried.

As if things weren’t bad enough, we got the terrible news yesterday that our in Dearing absentee next field neighbours have gained outline planning permission to build 20 houses on the top field. Don’t get me started.

I feel as if I am standing at the bottom of Mount Everest with nothing but a pair of flip-flops and a very thin rope. I am not even equal to the task of getting to base camp, let alone climbing mountain.

Feeling defeated