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I’m really losing the will to live. So far , in every aspect, this year has been a total … I actually can’t think of a printable word to describe it. I feel like all I’ve done this year is run round after other people, done the right thing, been sensible, been understanding, put others first,been the bigger person. In return I’ve made to feel like some kind of evil ,selfish bitch. I’ve lost a horse, and I’ve hardly had any time for the others. When I have had time to ride it’s either chucked it down with rain, howled with rain, or snowed!

Florence and Breeze didn’t cope very well with losing Leo. All Friday after she was collected, all day Saturday, and most of Sunday, they just kept calling and calling for her. It was totally heart rending to hear. By mid week they begun to relax again, and yesterday Hal so then eating from the same hey Kyle. Something that has hitherto been unheard-of.

The weather has actually been very nice this week, okay a bit damp, but there has been some warm sunshine, and it’s actually felt like spring be around corner. Perhaps I might be able to start doing things for me, spending some quality time with horses, having some nice hacks out, and maybe start having lessons again? No not a chance! It hasn’t stopped snowing since yesterday lunchtime. It’s a total whiteout out there. It’s back to stumbling around in the W and hauling water to the stables. Frankly I feel like it’s not worth trying to achieve anything.it either goes wrong or gets thrown back I’m your face.as far as I’m concerned this year can just do one.